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Software Vault: The Gold Collection
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Software Vault - The Gold Collection (American Databankers) (1993).ISO
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1993-06-01
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Editors note: This is a post I extracted from a local Fidonet echo. The
author of this post, Dave Laird, said he got part of it from
another file and added some himself.
New P.C. Virus Alert!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard drive into hundreds of
little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which
claim to be the most important part of the computer.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
warns you of impending hard disk attack---once by LAN. Twice if by C:.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead
refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of
how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first
see a counselor about possible alternatives.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before
the whole thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB,
and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you
are getting.
THE MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying
too much for the AT&T virus.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents you system from spawning and child processes
without joining into a binary network.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixy percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
error).=<
HEARTLAND VIRUS: Suddenly, messages from the Planet Zog appear in the middle of
the message base, while a mysterious person keeps telling you nothing has
changed.
SPOTTED OWL VIRUS: Some stupid bird with big eyes lands on your PC, craps on
your screen, and the environmentalists scream for you not to touch him.
Dave
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* Origin: Express myself? That's a right, isn't it? (FidoNet 1:346/11)
From the PHOENIX ECHO